University Star

Unfortunately, I chose to sit through the hellish 84 minutes of James Wong’s new live-action adaptation of beloved anime television series “Dragonball.”

Many fan boys’ dreams may be to one day see a live-action Dragonball movie, but I can’t imagine this is what they had in mind. I walked out of the theater halfway expecting it to be dark outside, and I went into a 2:40 showing. That’s how bad the movie was. It was debatably one of the worst films in cinema history. Debatably. Worse than Mortal Kombat: Annihilation? Yes. Worse than Double Dragon? Yes. Worse than Battlefield Earth? Let me think about that one.

It is honestly impossible to decide where to begin critiquing. The choice of cast can only be described in one word: hilarious. The production of the film begs the questions, “Why was this released to theaters?” “Wouldn’t it be better if this was a made-for-TV movie?” or better yet “Whose idea was it to make this film, and do they still have a job?”

If this film does not scream “career killer,” I’m not quite sure what does. The director obviously borrowed from countless other films—too
bad for him the films he used as textbooks are those no director should ever even consider seeing.

I am familiar with the anime from my younger years, and even though I can’t remember exactly how the storyline goes, I can remember
the television show was nothing like the film—and that doesn’t even bother me. What bothers me is the atrocious makeup on the character Piccolo, the one-liners no self-respecting 6 year old would quote, and the mispronunciation of the word “kai,” among other things.
Those who are looking for any old film to cure midday boredom would be doing themselves a favor by choosing a different film to see. Moms and dads trying to please their kids with something only children could enjoy, take them to see Hannah Montana: The Movie. I wish I had
been so wise. I am deeply sorry to all those “Dragonball” enthusiasts who have been waiting for their live-action Dragonball movie all these years. Hopefully, they will figure it out when they decide to make a 12-part live-action adaptation of Dragonball Z.