Men need to realize that inappropriate, sexually-fueled comments to women are not compliments.
Talking to girls is a very nerve-wracking activity¬, or at least it is for me. Back when I was still single, I struggled to talk to girls who I found attractive. I envied the smooth Casanovas who could flirt with the opposite sex without the slightest hint of difficulty. The only attribute I excelled in was being a pure gentleman to every girl I ever worked up the nerve to talk to, but it was always to no avail. If I learned anything about dating in high school, it was that nice guys truly do finish last.
Contrary to my own understanding of logic, girls always seemed to want to date the guys who were nothing but jerks to them. I discovered that most girls do eventually grow out of their jerky-guy phase, and they begin to give the nice guys a shot. Unfortunately, a decent proportion of men believe that their jerky flirting practices from high school will still yield success once women grow out of this phase.
One of the most inappropriate and rude practices a man can do is make comments about a woman’s appearance. Most women probably do not want to be told that they have an amazing ba-donk-a-donk by some thirsty guy. For some reason, many men think that they can say anything that they want to a woman and she is just supposed to take it as a compliment. When I hear some of the things that guys say, I just want to walk over to them and ask if they kiss their mother with that mouth.
Most men know when they are crossing the line, but some men truly do not get it. They keep pushing the boundaries of what is appropriate to say until they begin to enter the realm of sexual harassment. The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission defines sexual harassment as any unwelcome sexual advance, whether verbal or physical. Most men think that as long as they do not explicitly say that they want to have sex with a woman it isn’t sexual harassment, but that simply isn’t the case. It is sexual harassment to make unwelcome comments on a girl’s body, no matter how rockin’ her bod may be.
I may sound like I am standing on a soapbox, but the point I am trying to make is that some men just forget to show respect. All one has to do to avoid sexually harassing someone is consider the other person’s feelings. If you think a woman is good looking, tell her she is cute or beautiful. It is a lot more respectful than telling her she is hot.
Flirting is a part of dating, that much I am certain of. Without a little bit a flirting, neither party really knows if the other is interested in something more than friendship. To all my fellow guys out there, just remember to be respectful when you are flirting. Be the gentleman that a girl would be proud to show off to her family, not some creep that thinks bands actually make her dance.