Couple makes long-distance relationship work, others strive to do the same

Jun 17 2009 - 3:03pm | Brett Thorne

When Emily Olivier graduated from East Central High School in San Antonio in 2007, she and her boyfriend, David Tindall had been together for nearly two years. Their minds were weighted with more than the usual concerns of finding summer jobs and preparing for their freshman year in college.

The next school year would separate them by 1800 miles. Tindall planned to come to Texas State in the fall to pursue a radiology degree while Olivier would be at the Fashion Institute in New York City pursuing a fashion design degree.

Tindall said he and Olivier could see the problem on the horizon but refused to deal with it.

“We both knew she was trying to get in to a good school for fashion design which meant she would either be in Los Angeles or New York City,” Tindall said.

The pair decided to stay together in spite of the geographic barrier and try to make the relationship work. Olivier said she and Tindall had a hard time arriving at that solution.

“I think we both thought that we were just going to break up, but still basically be together when I came back,” Olivier said. “We realized our relationship was more than just breaking up. It was really hard.”

Questions of whether the relationship would work were raised after Tindall and Olivier had experienced time apart.

“In any relationship those questions are raised, but they are only compounded when you add in the long distance part,” Tindall said.

According to an article by James Griffin on AskMen.com, one of the most important factors of making long-distance relationships work is agreeing on a specific time period of the separation.

“You should first agree on an end goal with your partner — a specific time, be it six months or a year, when the separation is going to end,”

Griffin said on the site. “You can reunite, she can move home, you can follow or you can call it quits. Otherwise, you may end up stringing along the status quo indefinitely, which breeds a particularly robust strain of frustration.”

The article also entails that scheduling meaningful visits can be the determining factor for long-distance relationships.

Tindall said he was more than happy to visit Olivier in New York.

“There aren’t too many advantages to being that far apart, but one was (having) an excuse to go to New York City with a free place to stay,” Tindall said. “Who doesn’t like that?”

The two make sure to see each other as often as possible, but Olivier said the distance is still hard to deal with.

“I miss being able to talk in person, to just get that regular hug and kiss that everyone else gets everyday,” Olivier said. “I miss just being with him.”

Tindall said it was hard to take the separation, because the two were so involved in each other’s lives.

“I really miss just having a companion,” Tindall said. “We are both bums, but we are bums together.”

The couple has been able to stay together despite the obvious barriers. Tindall said the passion in the relationship has not only lasted — it has grown.

“I would say a good thing is you become more appreciative of the time you do have together and you tend not to dwell on the little crap that usually ends most relationships,” Tindall said. “It makes your relationship a lot stronger if you stick with it.”

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