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How Bobcats cope with long distance relationships

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Jacquelyn O’Brien shows a photo of her boyfriend who is currently enrolled in the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado.
Photo by: | Staff Photographer

Long-distance relationship is a term many people are familiar with, but few fully understand. Many Bobcats are in long distance relationships where they find their significant others miles away.

Jacquelyn O’Brien, interdisciplinary studies sophomore, has been in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend for two years, and they have been dating for four. Her boyfriend is currently in service school for the United States Military.

“You kind of fall in love over and over because you forget what it’s like to be together,” O’Brien said. “Time is more precious and appreciated when we do get to see each other again.”

O’Brien and her boyfriend have learned to make the relationship work by dedicating time for each other and trying various communication methods.

“We both have a journal that we write in when we are apart, and when we see each other we switch,” O’Brien said.

O’ Brien said it wasn’t easy at first, but over time she began to learn what works for her personal relationship.

In O’Brien’s case, the military chooses when she sees her boyfriend.

Taking a weekend off from work or school is not an opportunity this couple can take advantage of, but they have done what is possible to make it all worthwhile.

Other times, distance can be a few hours away from your loved one because of other circumstances like jobs or schooling. While Rebecca Stewart, interdisciplinary studies sophomore, attends Texas State, her boyfriend resides and works in Houston.

“I don’t hate long distance, but I don’t like it,” Stewart said. “If you’re having a bad day, you have to rely on a FaceTime date to cheer you up.”

Although long distance dating has its negatives, Stewart said it can also have its pros.

Stewart said she has more time to be productive, socialize, work and more.

“You have a lot of time to yourself, but trust is everything,” Stewart said. “You can’t live far away from someone if you can’t trust them to stay faithful.”

Naomi Coleman Medina, counselor at Texas State and Metamorphosis in San Marcos, said trust is a vital trait to have in any relationship.

“Trust is critical because of those times when someone doesn’t return your phone calls,” Medina said. “If there is not trust, then each person is injured.”

Medina said people in long distance relationships can come up with their own set of rituals—whether they are making nightly phone calls, FaceTiming every other day or writing letters.

However, Medina said long distance is less about the rituals and more about acceptance.

“Understand that each person has a life and they should have the freedom to see their friends,” Medina said. “(Couples shouldn’t be) letting miles define the relationship, but letting commitment do it instead.”

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